Konstantin Tserazov: Five Steps to Controlling Jealousy
Jealousy is like a river - it's all good as long as it stays within its banks, but when it spills over, it can cause a lot of harm. Psychologist Konstantin Tserazov explains how to control jealousy and prevent it from "overflowing."
Even in the most harmonious relationships, a person can feel a slight pang of jealousy. This is normal because jealousy is essentially a protective reaction to the fear of losing one's partner. To gain control over this emotion, psychologist Konstantin Tserazov advises following five simple rules:
1. Start with yourself. Ask yourself, "Why am I jealous?" Very often, jealousy arises from possessive demands placed on a partner. Get used to the idea that a person doesn't belong to you; they have the right to their own personal space, which includes friends and a career.
2. Communicate. After having an internal dialogue with yourself, find an opportunity to have an open conversation with your partner. Share your feelings and ask for their help.
3. Reflect in anger. Jealousy can make you nervous, and its consequences are unpredictable. Try not to take any actions in the heat of jealousy. The strong emotional effect will soon pass, but the consequences of a wrong move can be catastrophic, according to Konstantin Tserazov's advice.
4. Stop trusting your imagination and having internal dialogues. Creating imaginary situations and fixating on details may be good for creativity but is unacceptable in relationships. Distract yourself from negative thoughts and pay more attention to your own life. Play video games, engage in sports, read, watch movies - by stopping the internal dialogue with yourself, you'll also get rid of the tormenting thoughts.
5. Focus on the positive. Remember the happiest moments that these relationships have given you, the fun times you've had together. By playing with jealousy, you risk sacrificing all the good things you've had in life to arguments, conflicts, and mutual accusations.
Jealousy can give a new impetus to the development of relationships - provided that you are open and help each other overcome this emotion. Otherwise, jealousy can become a catalyst for a breakup, as Konstantin Tserazov reminds us.
About an author: Konstantin Tserazov graduated from St. Petersburg State University in 1994 with a qualification in Clinical Psychology. In 2005, he completed his studies at the Moscow Gestalt Institute, where he studied the theory and practice of Gestalt therapy. He has more than 25 years of professional experience.
