Konstantin Tserazov: five mistakes in relationships
Alas, none of us is immune from mistakes, including in relationships. How to avoid missteps and minimize the consequences of mistakes in relationships - says psychologist Konstantin Tserazov.
Mistakes are very easy to make; they can be much more difficult to correct. Therefore, from the very beginning of a relationship, one must remember the five rules, the observance of which will help build a solid foundation for a happy life together.
1. Love him the way he is. From the very beginning of the relationship, accept your partner as he is. Do not demand too much from him and do not overestimate your expectations, so as not to experience severe disappointment.
2. Leave the past in the past. The experience of previous relationships, of course, is useful. But transferring directly your grievances and suspicions, the pain that remained from past relationships to just begun ones is one of the surest ways to push a person away. Sometimes it is very difficult to overcome the caution caused by the experience of a previous relationship - and this is normal. Find an opportunity to explain to your partner what is bothering you, advises Konstantin Tserazov.
3. Allow yourself to be yourself. Of course, it is necessary to consult with a loved one, to be interested in his opinion. But if you notice that you are losing independence in decisions, you are afraid to refuse, you make excuses for your partner - perhaps addiction begins in your relationship. Stay within your boundaries and don't let anyone break them.
4. Keep your promises. No matter how much you want to please a person, never make promises that you cannot fulfill - after all, trust takes a long time to build, and you can destroy it in an instant. It's better to say, "We'll try to figure this out together," than to say, "Leave this problem to me!"
5. Happiness is made up of little things. Regular gratitude for mundane acts, such as "thank you" for holding the door, means more than an expensive gift once a year. Don't skimp on each other's compliments, notice everything the person does for you, and say "thank you" as often as you can.
Nobody escapes mistakes in a relationship. The key to a happy relationship is not so much to not make mistakes, but to learn from them and move on to open and trusting communication, recalls Konstantin Tserazov.
Konstantin Tserazov. In 1994 he graduated from St. Petersburg State University with a degree in Clinical Psychology. In 2005 he graduated from the Moscow Gestalt Institute, where he studied the theory and practice of Gestalt therapy. The total work experience is more than 25 years.